And so it begins

I'm not 100% sure why I'm sitting here typing words on a page other than the fact that a close friend told me that I should make all my trials and tribulations in the world of dating public so everyone can share my pain.

The truth is, its not really painful, it is more horribly amusing in the manner of sight gag comedy movie (think airplane). After all, if you can't laugh at yourself, you will never survive it.

Now - its entirely possible that this blog will hide in the giant ether and remain unread by any one other than me. Still, in a few years when I look back I'll have a historical account of all the joy that has passed.

I should provide a bit of background on me ...

I'm over 40, overweight and single. Now I wear my age well so my face does not have the leather look of being road hard and put away wet. My excess weight leaves me a few sizes heavier than my perfect figure so I am not trying to emulate a super-tanker. And my singleness isn't a permanent condition, I'm a few years on the downhill coast from a 14 year marriage.

I've been back in the dating pool (after my long break) for a couple of years and prince charming has not made an appearance.

My friends always gush about how much I have going for me ... low maintenance, intelligent, fairly cheerful with a high paying job. Now they are supposed to do that, it is how that made it into the "friend" not "enemy" camp. And the reality is, on those fronts they are right. Unfortunately, for me dating is not like pushing my basket through a superstore of men and picking just the right one out for my future. To me, dating is closer to digging through the local landfill hoping to find a diamond ring.

Now before you think I'm about to enter the "oh poor me, Men don't appreciate me" part of the program, let me tell you I'm not really into focusing on all that negativity. Still, I'll cover the obvious whines ...

All they care about is looks:

Yes, men are drawn to shinny objects (and I'm more of a plastic rhinestone not a high end diamond). That's fine with me (well, maybe I've just accepted it). Anyway I know I'm a brain bigot on the dating front. People in glasshouses and all of that.

Also, being a high end stone is not enough. A close friend who I know is higher up the looks food chain than I am actually dates significantly less than I do. I'm not sure what it is ... attitude, willingness to give them at least one date, something else. Still its clear that looks are not all that matters.

All they care about is youth:

For a percentage of men this is true, but why would I want a man who thinks I'm well past my "sell by" date. Yuck


There are no good men out there:

I'm sure there are, after all there are good women.

When you are 20-ish, everyone around you is falling in and out of love and relationships. The churn creates for a lot single men around you at any given time. At 40, most men (and women) have sunk into stable relationships. Think about it, when you were young all your friends are single as you age they end up married. The percentage of available men decreases with age, so your chance of running into a good one is lower.

I'm incomplete because I don't have a man:

I will admit that in the first year of being single (I'm divorced 2 and separated 3) I fell into the muck of that thought process. All my friends were part of a couple and here I was the 3rd (or 5th or 7th) wheel. PHOOEY. I have an intact self esteem, I have friends to fulfill my need to socialize, I have dogs to sit next to me on the couch while I watch TV and most importantly I have batteries to take me through the long rough patches.

Yes, a good guy around would be nice but its not critical to my life. Anyway, this way I don't have any of those horrible fights over the remotes when you each have competing shows on the television.

Now that I've laid the groundwork, I'm going to call it a night. Next, it might be time to talk about the current renter (or maybe Speed dating which is my next foray - I don't expect to meet the perfect man there but I should end up with great stories. Its a win/win either way).